Joining the Tig Nation – Tig Notaro Live at the O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire

Okay I think a lot fewer people would have “the Mondays” if they managed to stat their week off the way I did – with a superb comedy gig. Stumbling about on LiveNation yesterday, hunting for some fun stuff to do while I’m in London, I came across a comedy gig by Tig Notaro (a known comic if you’re from the States, lesser so here in England or back home in India) and was delighted when there were still tickets available for the show. So of course I booked immediately!

Before I get into her set though, a few words about the support act – Matt Rees. In his own words, his set is all about junk food, sex and drinking – “Are you okay with that? Good. Coz that’s all there is.” I wasn’t familiar with Rees before yesterday, but I’d be happy to come to a show again. He dry humor and often deadpan delivery were a good match up for Tig Notaro’s style, though the content was far blue-er I suppose. If I had to describe him to my friends I’d say, “think Louis C.K meets Milton Jones” – funny, a bit crass, self-deprecating and with lots of confusingly humorous jokes.

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Roses are Red – Day XIX – NaPoWriMo 2014

So for today’s entry for the NaPoWriMo challenge I’m going old school – By which I mean I’ve decided to go back to the form most of us adopted for our very first poem as children – Some will be cheesy, some will (hopefully) be funny, and inevitably some will just be lame : p – Let’s see if we can’t have some fun with this…

(These are meant to be read as separate poems)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This poem might be basic
But it’s what I want to do

Roses are red
Violets are blue
This may sound cheesy
But I wuv you

Apples are red
Oranges are orange
I can’t complete this rhyme
Because nothing rhymes with orange

Roses are grey
Violets are grey
Everything is grey
I think I’m colourblind

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I’m a lawyer
Touch me and I’ll sue!

The roses are violet
The violets are talking
The sky is pink
This is some good acid

Roses aren’t red
Violets aren’t blue
This the matrix
They’re all lying to you!

Roses are red
Bruises are black and blue
You shouldn’t have been texting
Behind the wheel you fool!

Roses are red
Violets are indigo
If you think this is easy
Try giving it a go!

Wow, those were a lot harder than I thought they would be… Well, hope you liked ’em : )

Funny Street Signs

They say art is only defined by our own personal limits (They in this case being an amorphous amalgamation of nondescript personage that I have clubbed together and ascribed a random saying to for my own narrative purposes).

It can take many forms and serve any purposes – to shock, to delight, to disgust, to placate, to amuse. Well, in the streets of Florence I saw one artist’s hand at work all over town, doing the last of these. What began with an amusing double-take on one street corner turned into a hunt for similar signage all over town. I share here some of my favorite examples of… Art? Graffiti? Childish pranks? Public disobedience? You decide.

And of course these particular kinds of signs aren’t exclusive to Firenze, look out for some in your own city. Who knows what you may find…

More Djibouti Jokes

The first batch of Djibouti (pronounced jee-boo-ti) Jokes were so popular, and I had so much fun thinking of them, that I decided to do a follow-up post with some more. Some of these are just humorous double-entendres that popped into my head, while others are actual quotes off the wiki page for Djibouti ; p

Here’s hoping I don’t make an ass of myself… ; p

  1. There have been mass evacuations due to gas leaks in Djibouti.
  2. Did you know that the gravitational force is particularly strong in Djibouti? That’s right, Djibouti pulls you right in…
  3. I just got a work contract with a company in Djibouti. Now Djibouti keeps me really busy.
  4. Djibouti is largely concerned with the service sector.
  5. Djibouti has a growth rate of 4.5% annually.
  6. It seems a massive earthquake has left a giant crack down the middle of Djibouti (I almost fell into it!)
  7. Djibouti contains some 820 species of plants…
  8. It seems the new PM has some major plans to re-shape Djibouti
  9. Djibouti can’t figure out why it seems to be the butt of so many jokes in the UN…

If you missed the first batch, here they are – Djibouti Jokes


Well It’s Okay For Me To Say It!

I found myself in a tube compartment today with a group of men who seemed to be having quite a riotous laugh. What did they find so funny? Well one of them was putting on a particularly heavy “Indian accent” for their amusement. I purposely put the words Indian accent in quotations mind you because, even though I have lived in India all my life (with the exception of the time spent since I moved to London in September 2012) and have met people from pretty much all over the country – Assam, Bihar, U.P, Tamil Nadu, Maharashtra, Goa, Delhi, Kashmir, Karnataka – I have never heard this accent. You know the one I mean – the “comical” one that your English friends put on while bopping their heads – the Peter Sellers “Bombay” accent from The Party – or for those of you unacquainted with classic comedy, Russell Peters’ rip on Indians. Anyway, when I heard it I instinctively angled my head to get a look at the speaker, to see if he was Indian – as if, in my brain, if he was, then it was ok.

This raised an interesting question in my mind. Do people inherit a right to make certain jokes or use certain words or phrases by sheer virtue of their family tree? Take Russell Peters for example, he’s not Indian. He’s Canadian. But he looks Indian, so he’s made a great career off making fun of Indians – calling us cheap, hairy and obsessed with dancing in fields. But it’s for a laugh. He’s not racist (to be fair he doles out plenty of punishment on the Chinese, Jamaicans and Americans). Many, if not most, Black rappers and comedians use a certain N word freely and loosely, but damned if a Caucasian person ever use that word! In fact it ended the entire career of Michael Richards (TV’s beloved Kramer). I’ve even had friends who are NRIs or descendants of Indians put on the accent and say they can because “they’re Indian” – and I’m like, “No you’re not! You’re English! You just look Indian!” So does that mean, I can do the accent if I feel like it? Does the fact that I actually grew up in India and identify myself as an Indian make it okay for me to make fun of Indians?

Now I’ll admit that I actually enjoy putting on/experimenting with accents. I might even take the piss with an English or American or Irish friend by attempting (and rarely, succeeding) to talk to them in their own accent. But of course I’ll do this for a laugh with good friends. And if they mimicked my accent (which they don’t – they of course do the stereotypical Peter Sellers) I’m okay with that. We’re all just having a bit of fun.

But that’s not how I felt about the encounter that sparked this little meandering thought. For two reasons. First, the person putting on the accent wasn’t actually Indian. He was quite obviously English, possibly of Arab descent. Now this isn’t particularly something that I would be so peeved about, but the second reason was. He was speaking in broken, grammatically incorrect English, saying things like “You want drink? What you want? Coke (pronouncing it Cock). Water (pronounced Vaa-ter)”. Now this I didn’t appreciate. He was obviously making fun of someone who worked at a food outlet and was taking shots at his unfamiliarity with the language. Maybe that person wasn’t born here. Maybe he’s trying his hardest to acclimate and learn. It’s one thing to have fun and just use the accent, but he was making fun of a real person, to the hilarity of his four White friends. Why does it matter that they’re White? I don’t know. But I’m agitated and it just sort of does. I apologize if this offends you.

I’ve already admitted that I indulge in stereotypes myself sometimes. Ask my friends and they will tell you that I’m rather blunt and open and not a particular fan or abider of Political Correctness. “Plainspoken” I believe is the polite way of putting it. But I’m always mindful that my humor is not at the expense of someone else. Well, unless that someone else is a friend who has made the mistake of becoming close to me, then its fair game ; p

So does this make me a hypocrite? Quite possibly. Will this experience make me change my ways? Quite unlikely. I say, have a sense of humor about yourself. I try my best to. But don’t let a joke hide something more sinister. Humor is supposed to be a vehicle of fun and love and good feeling and sunshine and rainbows. Don’t be a tool and be nasty.

I will leave you now with a joke, to try to take the sting out of this whole post and bid farewell with some mirth:

Did you hear about the lawyer whose client was arrested for prostitution?

He got her off and she repaid the favor!



Djibouti Jokes

I was speaking to someone yesterday about how I often have “blonde moments” where I find the most ridiculous things and I was reminded of a particular favorite – the time I was doing the crossword and there was a clue which referenced “Djibouti”, a country in the “horn of Africa”. Some people might agree that this is a funny name for a country, possibly no funnier than Bangkok or Lake Titikaka, but I don’t think anyone has quite run with it like I have ; p

So without further ado – my Djibouti (pronounced jee-boo-ti, in case you hadn’t picked up on the joke yet) Jokes – sorry to any Djiboutians for making you the butt of my jokes (ha!):

  1. Is it really hot in Djibouti?
  2. I would really like to visit Djibouti.
  3. I enjoy being in Djibouti.
  4. I once lost my passport and got stuck in Djibouti
  5. Djibouti is really beautiful in the moonlight
  6. How big is Djibouti?
  7. When it rains, does Djibouti get wet?
  8. Pirates are particularly attracted to Djibouti
  9. Djibouti shakes really hard when there’s an earthquake
  10. Did you hear about the explosion? Yeah apparently there was a massive bang in Djibouti yesterday!
  11. Women don’t like it when you try to enter Djibouti
  12. Do I need protection if I’m in Djibouti?
  13. Is it crowded in Djibouti?

There are a lot more, but I decided to stay away from the particularly crude ones ; p

Anyone got more?

A little less Siri-ous

I was a little bored so I decided to have some fun with the Siri feature on my iPhone. I have to admit that it has some genuinely witty responses and a lot more cultural references programmed in there than I would have thought.