GloPoWriMo 2018: Day IX: The Louse and the Blue Whale

Today’s NaPoWriMo’s prompt immediately sent my mind to a familiar story. One I imagine you may all know in form or another. So I decided to use that inspiration to concoct something truly… absurd. It made me chuckle. Perhaps it’ll do the same for you.


The Louse and the Blue Whale

Now you may have all heard
The fabled word
Of the Elephant and the Mouse
But not even Shakespeare
Could bend your ear
To the tale of the Whale and the Louse

As unlikely a kinship
As an iceberg and a steamship
And one most could not even spy
I’ll tell you true
As best I can do
May I be struck down if I lie

The first thing to know
If you’re inclined to do so
Is that this louse was quite a great swimmer
And the Blue Whale in question
I feel I should mention
Didn’t like krill or shrimp for dinner

Why is that key?
Well shortly you’ll see
As this tale most bizarre unfolds
Of one quite a glutton
One smaller than a button
Neither liking to do as told

One fair breezy day
‘Bout half twelve I’d say
The Whale decided he wanted a snack
And the little tiny Louse
Cosy in his little house
Was woken by a booming loud ‘thwack’

The Whale had jumped ground
With a mighty loud pound
Driven by a craving for some fruit
Because of the great clatter
The Louse came pitter-patter
Riding his favourite pet Newt

They looked at each other
Both thinking ‘oh brother’
Now isn’t this quite a scene
A Newt stride critter
The world’s largest cherry picker
It was the strangest thing either had seen

The whale said ‘hellew’
The louse did so too
And then they both burst into guffaws
For even the most stern
Or tastefully modern
But had to chuckle at what each saw

From that day they both did meet
At the time the Choughs did tweet
And shared a good laugh together
Unlikely of friends
Till the bitter end
They became like birds of a feather

Sometimes out the water
Deep down if it was hotter
They’d eat and drink and play
And if you did ask
How this kinship did start
They’d just giggle and go on their way

They say great friendships are made
In the most unlikely of ways
And this tale bears no exception
A Louse smaller than a Snail
And a great big Blue Whale
And a friendship of such strange conception




GloPoWriMo 2018: Day II: 1A

I’ll admit dear readers, today’s NaPoWriMo prompt gave me pause. It’s about voices. And perspectives. And as someone who usually writes from a personal place it was a challenging start… In the end I decided why settle? I’ll cover them all. So here’s my attempt at the challenge of perspective… through the voice of three in one… 1A…

It was a blind leap for me
I was hesitant and scared
To do something so new
Something I’d never dared

For the first time to call home anew
And to share myself so wholly
Could this be my most grand adventure
Or a massive ruddy folly

But with love and friendship in one column
I could never have said no
Even if my “lizard brain”
Was warning against doing so


You were so much to me then
But brand new and a little confusing
And to take such a step so soon
Was confoundingly bemusing

In your face I saw hesitation
Would you find me to be too stifling
Were you afraid I’d dig too deep
Lift your hood and go about rifling

Yet in the end so made me whole
And I will forget, yet never so
Home is where the heart is
And I’ll always remember our home


From the rafters I watch them
Play their little games
Act like they are so different
Yet they’re so completely the same

She was too afraid to start
He too anxious of the end
Yet they took the leap together
And now, “just friends”

Yet for the tragedy of the separation
Together they were such joy
And man what a time was had
By boy, and girl, and boy

Looking for some poetic treats? Why not ogle through my archive. Or go check out what Day 2 has brought out of the other NaPoWriMo participants today.

More Japes Will Be (K?)

I was visited, as if by spirits
From far away, and long ago
They came to me, as if by fate
And then left, as if just so

With brilliant smiles and hidden tears
Loving glances, furtively turning away
Tight embraces and unsaid sadnesses
And peaceful silences, with much to say

They came as if in a dream
Reality tugging all the while
While we could we did ignore it
And bathed in each others smiles

We travelled in space and in time
Shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand
We braved the elements, adopted elephants
We sang songs and it was grand

We revelled in our spirits
And spirits revelled in us
Poured some out for homies couldn’t be there
Promised next time they must

Now dreams and visions all are gone
Phantastic visitors homeward bound
Separate shores and separate lives
With new spirits to be found

But in the end my visitors and I
Will a little trinket set
By our bed side tables, a Pachyderm
Because an Elephant never forgets

A Few Friends – Day XXVII – NaPoWriMo 2014

I don’t need a lot of friends
I just need a few

One who always has my back
One who always cuts me some slack
One who tries to flatter me
One who knows exactly how I feel

One who likes to chill
One to take care of me when I’m ill
One who takes trips along side
One to check me, when I’m full of pride

One to sit and debate
One to help make laugh and elate
One whose shoulder I can cry upon
One who stays up, talking till the dawn

Now many of these things
More than one can do
So I don’t need a lot of friends
I just need a few

Noddy & Jet – Day XXV – NaPoWriMo 2014

There once was a squirrel named noddy
Who had a teeny tiny body
He wasn’t a threat
To anyone he met
Though his manners were a bit shoddy

Noddy didn’t have many friends
But one day that misery did end
For he met
A sparrow named jet
And their days from then did blend

The pair had a favourite spot
To chill when it was hot
In a tree by the river
A real shade giver
There they’d sit and smoke pot

Having smoked they would sit and laugh
And they’d stuff their faces till they near barfed
Till one day this man
In a big metal can
Came and cut their dear tree in half

Now this made the two quite sad
They thought of all the good times they’d had
In that tree in the shade
The home they had made
And then they got a little mad

So noddy and jet hatched a scheme
To get back at this man most mean
They set his house on fire
And sat on a wire
Laughing as he did burn and scream

Now when this story in motion I did set
This way it would go, you wouldn’t bet
But take this lesson to heart
Before we part
Don’t f*ck with noddy and jet

I’ve Got This Friend – Day IV – NaPoWriMo 2014

I’ve got this friend
Loyal and true
He bullshits with the best
But always come through

He never asks anything
But gives all he can
He’s a good friend
He’s a good man

Don’t get me wrong here
I know he is no saint
I’ve heard stories of exploits
That would make some faint

But he stands by my side
When I need him most
He’s a good man
He’s a saccha dost

He’ll say it never to my face
That I’m not nearly as good a friend
But I’ll make this vow now
Before this poem ends

I’ll do better by him
Like he always does by me
I’ll not set him aside
Or tell him, leave me be

I’ve been rather selfish
Given far less than I take
But it’s time to change my attitude
For a good friend’s sake

Pour One Out

The events of that evening have been often spoken about in hushed tones and whispers. No one knows what really happened mind you. Well, almost no one. Those who swear that they were there, that they saw it with their own eyes, are, I am afraid to say, liars and gossips.

At 12 PM on Sunday the 1st of September Lord Lindsey Lionel Pritchett IV received a letter. Now the most curious thing about this letter was not that it bore no return address, nor that none of the 4 guards at the front gate saw anyone come or go who could have dropped it off, nor even that it consisted merely of 11 words. The strangest thing about it was that it was supposedly written by a man who had been dead near a year. Suffice to say that Lord Pritchett was not amused, for he at once recognized the hand that was meant to have written these eleven words, “The bar good friend. The seventh at seven. Please do come.” and he did not appreciate the prank. Despite his abhorrently long name and his lofty title, Pritchett was a “proper gentleman” only when he had to be, and there were very few individuals who were privy to his true light-hearted nature. But despite his love for a good joke, there were some things he did not take lightly.

Continue reading

Adventures in House Sitting: Part II: Geek’s Night Out

I spent most of yesterday out of the house – in fact I never actually made it home, but we’ll get to that. Thursdays are generally gruelling – I have two back-to-back lectures – that’s 4 straight hours of class. So I usually count on my cappuccino from Costa to get me through it.

Yesterday was actually a lot better than most weeks. My International Comparative Copyright class was being taken by Jonathan Griffiths, who is also my dissertation supervisor, and we were covering Moral Rights, which I personally find really interesting. It’s also a core part of my dissertation so it was good to hash out a few interesting questions in class. My second lecture was for Cyberspace Law, where we were covering Data Protection and Privacy. Now to the lay man that mind sound pretty boring, but man would you be wrong. It’s actually a very interesting topic and something the average person should definitely know more about. Do you know what to do of Facebook sells the information you upload to marketing companies so they can target advertise? Do you know if they’re actually legally permitted to do something like that? What about the fact that the ads on he right side of Facebook or your Gmail account seem to know exactly what your interests are? Do you know how that works, or did you just think it was a coincidence? Well it’s questions like this that we’re dealing with. If you’re interested read up, you might be shocked. And check it out this video, you might never use your Gmail again! Google’s Master Plan

After lectures a bunch of us trekked across to Embankment to attend a Reception and tour of The National Liberals Club (more on that in another post). After, I ended up having a pint with some people around the corner, this is where the night of Geeking officially began! My friend Jose and I basically spent most of our time over drinks talking about video games, movies, comic books, the media and probably half a dozen other things. Quick highlights (so that I don’t lose you like we lost the other people we were with last night!)

  • Tarantino – I said Pulp Fiction is overrated, he said that you should look at it in its time, for which it was groundbreaking, but agreed that its not Tarantino’s best – we both agree that most of the people who say they love it, love it for the wrong reasons
  • Braveheart – He said it was overrated, I said he must be outside his mind. Also Mel Gibson’s movies were better before he went insane.
  • Die Hard – My preference order 1,3,2,4. His 1,3,4,2
  • GL vs Superman – I’ve been having this particular debate with dozens of people over the last week. I still say GL – he seemed a bit on the fence

When we finally got back to his place (around 1) the night was far from winding down, what followed was hours of more Geek talk, a few quick Poker tournis and then some more card based games, but the dueling and fantasy kind. Warhammer Invasion in particular was a lot fun, and I’m told that I actually drew a rather strong class, but a lack of luck in drawing some of the better cards got me thrashed.

After a morning (or rather early afternoon) of more geeking – this time talking Graphic novels, Sandman in particular (one of my favs!) and some fun Lego riddles (which you can find on Gizmodo) I’ve finally made my way back to the couch at Leslie’s – question is what now – study or veg? Hmmm…