NaPoWriMo – Day XII – My Experiments With Truth

Writing a new poem everyday has been quite interesting so far. Sometimes inspiration flows, sometimes it has to be forced, but‘s daily prompts have been quite helpful. Its been challenging and fun experimenting with different styles and themes. Which brings us to today. I’m not going to lie. This one is going to be tough. The challenge today is to “write a poem consisting entirely of things you’d like to say, but never would, to a parent, lover, sibling, child, teacher, roommate, best friend, mayor, president, corporate CEO, etc.”

So here it goes… This is probably going to hurt…

All I ever wanted
Was to hear out loud
That I didn’t disappoint you
That I made you proud

I will never be good enough
For the world’s eyes
And in trying to
I’ve lived a life of lies

I’ve made peace with some of it
Some of it still stings
I might be stuck being unhappy
But there are still the small things

I wish I had been better
And showed you that I cared
I was just too young to realize
That you were just scared

I wish I could have protected you
I wish you had more time
He’ll never love me like he loved you
No matter how many mountains I climb

You had a zest for life that I do not
You would’ve excelled with every dawn
I feel guilty that I’m still here
And you’re the one that’s gone

I wish I could reach out to you
I lost you somewhere past
I miss our camaraderie
I should have made it last

I wish that we were closer
That I could be your friend
I hope that we will come back
To the bond we had back when

I know I wasn’t the greatest
That I was a bully of sorts
But I still love you two
And I’ll be there for all life’s got

I never should have let you go
It wasn’t you but me
I was scared and I was stupid
I was too blind to see

I thought it was the right thing
I didn’t think I was strong enough
But I’m not asking for another chance
I’m not saying I’ve had it rough

I’m ready to let you go
But it’s just so hard to do
No matter how hard I try
I can’t stop loving you

This has been an experiment in honesty
They say the truth will set you free
But now I just feel scared
Of what this truth might do to me

It’s easy to be honest
If it’s not to someone’s face
Write it on a piece of paper
And hide it in a cold dark place

You will read these words and maybe
Some of you will know quite well
Of the people to whom I speak
But am too afraid to tell

Part of me wonders what will happen
Will they pity? Will they rage?
Then part just smiles and think no more
Because they’ll never visit this page

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