(Un)familiar

What is this place most unfamiliar?
These four walls within which I find myself
Why does it bring back memories
Of a life belonging to someone else?

Is that where I would sit
And think of what once was
Is that where I once laid my head
And stole moments with lovers long-lost

Are those my books lying scattered
In the corner on the floor?
Are those my painful memories
Locked in the trunk by the door?

Why does my heart resist
To let in what loudly knocks?
Why does it build these walls?
Why does it place these locks?

Why does this land feel so alien?
It feels no longer mine
I thought home would be home for always
Home where the sun always shined

Is this madness or ennui?
Am I stolen from my past?
Or has the being so far changed
That what was long gone is gone at last

I feel uneasy in this shell
Of the man that was left behind
It no longer fits that well
It constricts and it binds

What is this face most familiar?
In the mirror at me it stares
I remember those eyes
I remember those wares

This is a man I knew long ago
In these walls he did reside
His memories still linger here
In the shadows he still hides

When I left long ago
It seems some bridges were burned
What is this place most familiar?
And can I ever return?

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